The Journey

The struggle is REAL. . . I began my weight loss journey on June 16th (again). I decided that even though I continue to succeed and fail repeatedly, I just need to keep trying till one day it sticks. So I'm here again, trying. I know myself well enough to know that working out is a struggle for me, which is strange because I actually like working out. I just won't do it. So I need something to keep me motivated. I enrolled in a hip hop dance class at the community college it is almost 2 hours of straight dancing, and right afterwards I go to a weight training class that is also almost 2 hours. It's hard, I struggle everyday because well "I just don't feel like it..." But because it's for a grade I always manage to get myself there. Afterwards, I am so hyper and happy from the workouts. If you have never taken a hip hop class before, I highly recommend it! I was really intimidated, I've never taken a dance class. I thought for sure the first day that not only would I be the biggest person there throwing their weight around but the worst dancer also, I was so insecure. I closed my eyes and jumped, if I continued to be afraid of moving this chunk in front of people that fear would prevent me from ever getting away from it. So I go, and I struggle and I sweat, and I feel dumb, but I TRY. I love it, I love that my body is learning new things, I love that I am starting to not care anymore. I may not be confident yet but I'm also not ashamed anymore. Often in the past I would use my lack of health as an excuse to not do things. I would say things like "Do I look like I can do that?" I am realizing how much I hurt myself and my potential when I am to myself exactly what I fear others will be to me, how unfortunate. So I fight myself, I fake it till I make it. In my weight training class I made friends with a girl the first day and asked if she would want to be my SWOLEMATE. Having someone with the same goals to push and compete with is invaluable for someone like me who would half ass it on the days "I just don't feel like it..." I'm pushing hard, I still struggle with food, and everyday is a mini battle to get to the next day without regret. But I just have to close my eyes during the scary part and when I open them again I will have gone from OBESE 2 BEAST! Stay motivated guys <3 <3 <3