Man this wagon is hard to hold on to!

Welp, I fell off the wagon again. What a vicious cycle I live, I am so motivated for a while and I feel invincible, inspired even. Then it happens a twig underneath my skates, a wrench in my gears, no wind for my sails, and that's all it takes. I fail. again. But just like always I'm back up. I'm trying. again. I figure if I just keep trying every time I fail, one day it'll stick. One day I won't have to start all over again. I always feel like this is going to be the last time, and I never want to lose that optimism even if I have proven my prediction wrong time and again. The odds are against me but I chose to still believe that I'll make it this time. I went off the deep end reaching the highest weight yet. That isn't even the worse part, the worst part was that I didn't really care. I hit this weight I swore to myself I would never reach and I didn't even cry. I've been feeling anxious lately to get started on another attempt, but it's really hard when everyone you live with is on that filth. Tonight I went for a 2 mile walk, I just needed to move. I needed to remind my body that it can move, even if it's a little. I downloaded a few apps on my phone and when I watch tv I make myself use the fitness app during commercials to do squats, sit ups, push ups etc. I feeling a little discouraged by my weight right now but I know once I put the effort in I will feel more motivated and proud of myself. Time to just do it. I wish you all luck out there on this journey. Always be positive, YOU CAN DO IT. It's just a matter of when. NOW!